


like a heartbeat drives you mad

by doubtthestars



Series: with the sun in our eyes [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 08:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubtthestars/pseuds/doubtthestars
Summary: The only thing Basti is unprepared for when dealing with Niklas as a werewolf, is other werewolves.





	like a heartbeat drives you mad

Having a werewolf for a best friend wasn’t as much of a hardship as popular media made it seem to be. The most strenuous thing Basti had to keep track of was the moon phases and he had an app for that. 

When Niklas informed Bayern they would have to take on Basti as well under the pack clause in his contract, it had made news. Of course, Bayern had managed to spin it as they did everything but Basti had gotten visits from the supernatural liberties union along with Niklas and had a specialist poke and prod at their relationship until Niklas shred the sides of his jeans with his claws in distress. 

He had spent the rest of that evening trying to calm Niklas down. 

So it wasn’t hardship so much as another layer of awareness, certain facts of life slightly altered to fit the supernatural lens that now affected him as well. Werewolves were notorious protective of their pack members and no one outside of the wolves could explain the intricacies of pack and how someone would earn the status whether a werewolf themselves or not. 

Basti wasn’t really sure of all the politics and pack law but he knew Niklas would defend him if need be and Basti would defend Niklas to the ends of the earth, and that at its core felt like what pack meant. 

The only thing was, Basti had been completely unprepared for other werewolves.

-

When they arrive for the requisite pictures and handshakes, Jerome Boateng is waiting for them as an unofficial representative of the team. They’d met before of course, but Basti hadn’t connected the dots on Boa being a werewolf until just then, when Niklas smiled shyly and ducked to rub a cheek against Jerome’s face in typical wolf greeting. 

Boa looked apologetic when he shook Basti’s hand.

“I couldn’t exactly advertise. The Packs would rather us fly under the radar and the club likes to keep people guessing. Your boy really threw all the protocol out of window for you.” 

Basti chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was slowly getting that, slow enough that the big picture made him worry. He met eyes with Niklas, who didn’t look guilty or harried so Basti took his lead on the matter, just as he had done for the last couple of months.

“Are there any other wolves on the team?” He asks, not sure if Jerome would actually give that sort of information out even to a werewolf-adjacent teammate.

“A few. We’ve got a den-like situation at Bayern. Lots of human pack members so you’ll fit right in. Mats can orient you if you’d feel more comfortable with him.” Mats was like him then, Basti noted quietly, filing it away. 

“No, I’m fine with you. What’s a den?” Boa looked surprised, glancing back at Niklas who was flaring his nostrils and moving his head this way and that as he took in their surroundings. Basti couldn’t pick up anything different from the brightly lit and well-maintained hallways they were walking through with his human senses but his Niklas senses told him Niklas was pleased with the move. 

“A den is a safe space for wolves. Dens can naturally happen when there’s a group of us and enough pack to call it home. It’s a little harder to settle in when you’re surrounded by just humans. I’m the oldest wolf on the team now, so if you ever need something or have a question, I’ll try my best to answer or get someone to help. I do have kids so balancing den leader duties is sometimes tricky.” 

Niklas makes an enthusiastic noise from the back of his throat.

“Can I meet them? I’m a great babysitter.” He wheedles. Jerome smiles and nods.

“You will, they come to matches when they can. You’ll have to fight off Jo for the honor of babysitting but we’ll see if Soley and Lamia like you better.” He chuckles. Basti is lost in thought. There was a lot he didn’t know about werewolves, but now he had a resource beyond Niklas and a willing one to boot. 

Not that Niklas wasn’t great, but Niklas was practically an adolescent in the world of wolves, and he’d been born into the world with innate understanding of things Basti couldn’t wrap his head around. 

“Is there a den on the national team?” Basti is almost sure there was, looking back to all the instances of international breaks where Niklas was looser, more relaxed than at Hoffenheim. He didn’t think there was the sort of stability that Niklas needed at Hoffenheim for a pseudo-pack nor a den. 

“Yeah,” Niklas slung an arm around Basti’s shoulders. Affectionate touches were easy currency with wolves. Basti had woken up countless of times on planes and busses with Niklas body splayed out to cover him somehow. It was just another quirk of belonging to his pack. If they roomed together, Niklas would inevitably huff and whine at him until Basti relented to share his bed.

He had learned not to read into things early on with Niklas.

-

Mats had invited him out for coffee to touch base a month after they had settled in at Bayern. 

“Any questions for me? I know Boa gave you the whole,” He waves a hand in the air, “and I’m the resident friendly face for humans. Not that we have to do this every time a signing comes on. Well, in a way I do, but that’s because Manu would probably tell you the others will go out on the pitch and piss on the corner flags on full moons to fuck with you. Fips sort of banned him from being on the welcome wagon after that.” 

“Are you all Boa’s?” He tries to be oblique in their public setting, even though there’s only a couple and a student at the other tables.

“No, I, uh, there’s a couple of them in Dortmund, that’s how I got involved anyway.” Mats grimaces down at his coffee cup before continuing on.

“Javi is Thiago’s buddy. Arjen is Van Buyten’s, and there’s me and Manu. Thomas knows because he’s Thomas. And now there’s you.” Basti does the tally in his head of werewolves and werewolf-adjacent on the squad and it’s a little mind-blowing to think that Bayern has such a stronghold in the werewolf community. 

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a problem, at least on the board’s end. The Supes don’t really care as long as we’re not exposing it to the world. It’s not like Real Madrid is any better.” Mats snorts. 

“Tell me about Niklas.” Mats prompted, making Basti suspicious. 

“What about him?” He takes a gulp of his lukewarm coffee.

“I haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to him, but he seems pretty easy-going under all that muscle mass. How did you find out about him?” 

He hadn’t expected an interrogation or whatever quid pro quo Mats was trying to establish. It made his proverbial hackles rise up. There were two versions of the story and Sebastian had sworn not to ever talk about the real one. 

“I noticed the pattern. Nik was still too young to hide how much the full moon affected him. I was worried. He was my closest friend on the team and I didn’t know what would keep him once a month away from everybody. Even when we didn’t have games, he would show up with bruises and looking like he hadn’t slept for a week. So, I investigated.” Basti had always found it easier to blame himself in the lie. 

Mats hmmed around his cup, nodding with a far away look in his eyes. 

“Right, and will there be any problems on your end with the rest of the team?” Basti set his hands in his lap.  
“Why would you ask that?” It was still early in the preseason. Basti couldn’t think of anything that would make Mats ask.

Mats sets his coffee down and takes a long pause to stare at Basti, like he’s trying to uncover his secrets or look into him past all the skin, muscle and bone. It was unnerving. Basti shifted in his seat, but didn’t look away. He was Niklas’ pack and he had to stay at Bayern for as long as it took. If this was some sort of test, he wouldn’t fail it. 

“Because being pack isn’t just a title. Normal people don’t get the big deal but this whole thing is reciprocal. If Niklas is as docile as a puppy then his pack balances out the rest. His family is his family but pack is different, and you’re the only one in his. The others like him, are closer to nature, closer to their base instincts, and we get feedback from that. It makes something in our lizard brains go a little feral. We get a little closer to our wildness as well.” 

Mats taps out a beat with his fingers against the tabletop.

“You’re uncomfortable with Thiago. You watch Boa like a hawk when Niklas is around him, and Tolisso is just as much of a puppy as your _friend_ so I need to know that you can keep your cool on the team with the others.” Mats stops tapping to give him another scrutinizing look.

Basti swallows down the knot of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. 

“And if I can’t?” He whispers.

“Then we have a problem.” Mats sighs.

-

They make a plan of sorts. Basti is under heavy exposure therapy and between the rest of the human pack mates gets tips on how to adjust to living among so many wolves and dealing with his own burgeoning weirdness along with Niklas.

And Niklas quietly moves in with him after the media loses interest in their situation.

“I’m sorry.” He’s breathing into the back of his neck, arms around him. Basti tries hard not to think about how some part of his mind is completely content with the arrangement while the rest tells him he shouldn’t enjoy this closeness because there will be consequences sooner or later. The bed is never cold when he wakes up, not like it had been back in Hoffenheim. 

“How many times are you going to apologize.” He stares out into the dark and regulates his breathing, in and out. He can have a will of iron to keep these moments between them.

“As many as it takes. I should be the one taking care of you, Sippi.” Niklas is stubborn in his brooding. 

“That’s sexist. Or speciesist. Something like that.” Niklas is too warm against his back for Basti to not feel drowsy. Niklas huffs out annoyance and draws in air slowly, shifting his head to the left. It should be weird, Basti thinks, but Niklas was always weird before he had even known about the rest. When they met, it was like a puzzle piece had finally been put in the right place, a lock had found its key. 

“You smell good.” Niklas murmurs.

“You always say that.” Basti closes his eyes. Niklas hugs him millimeters closer, like it makes a difference to his senses.

“Because it’s true. You smell like home and -” Sebastian doesn’t hear the rest.

The morning comes with a text from Boa, confirming he’ll pick them up for training. Niklas still has a case of bedhead and Basti feels like he could keep sleeping for at least another hour. Exposure to Boa was going alright, especially when Manu hit upon his scent marking solution. 

He had taken the piss out of Mats for not mentioning that Basti had just as much right to get touchy-feely with Niklas to make himself stop looking at Boa like he was a rotten fish in somebody’s locker. Sebastian didn’t have the heightened sense that the wolves had but some part of him recognized there was a claim he had on Niklas just as Niklas had one on him. 

So Basti had started touching Niklas, superfluous little touches, pats on the cheek, on the head, any small patch of skin at any opportunity to keep himself from being jittery and Niklas let him. He didn’t know if Niklas’ happiness was buoyed by Basti figuring out how to be pack or Niklas finding a place in the Bayern den more but Basti was grateful for it all.

“Hey,” He wakes Niklas up by brushing their cheeks together, like an actual wolf would, his stubble tickles Basti. He leans over Niklas, watching as his eyelashes flutter and his lips twitch, opening his eyes to the day. 

“Mmm, hi.” Niklas’ sleep-rough voice makes Basti move away, intent on getting ready and getting away from the temptation to kiss him, but Niklas is quick to pull him down again and roll them both into a cocoon of sheets. 

“We have to get ready.” Basti’s heart pounds, the sound of it overbearing and irritating. The long length of Niklas seems dreamlike in the hazy glow of the sun through their sheets. It would be easy to let go every inhibition and doubt, to reach across and draw a map of Niklas with just his hands and mouth. It’s a desire that catches Basti unexpectedly at the worst moments. 

It’s a problem he doesn’t want to admit to, because he knows deep down, it’ll be the end of their little pack. 

-

Sebastian, as hard as he works on his issues, fails in the face of fear.

“What do you mean he’s pack?” There’s cold dread dripping into his heart like an icicle waiting from above to impale him. Niklas is beaming, eager to share the news with Basti. It wasn’t like Basti was ignorant of how well Jo got along with him and the other wolves in general. He was exuberant, fun, and surprisingly caring. 

“I can feel it, can’t you?” Basti is still trying to get through the mental hurdle of expanding their pack, much less whatever mystical drive werewolves have to find their pack. How would he feel it, he thinks numbly. He isn’t a wolf, no matter how much he tries to emulate one.

“How?” He can barely keep his voice steady.

“I just know. Just like with you.” Basti feels like his chest has cracked into two with a clap like thunder. There’s a strange tingling at the end of his fingers as if all of his longing had finally had enough of living beneath his skin. He can’t cry. He can’t. He knows Niklas would smell the tears before they had a chance to fall. 

“Like me?” He gasps out, trying his hardest to sound less broken by the news. He should be happy, a distant part of his mind reminds him. 

“Sippi?” Niklas sounded worried, shit, Basti had messed up. If he could just get some air into his lungs, he’d be fine. If his mind could stop howling out some wordless agony, he would be perfect. It’s not such a big deal, he tells himself. Joshua was great. Something in him clawed angry and hot at letting Jo into the same spaces that Niklas occupied. 

“His heart is going as fast as a rabbit’s.” He hears Lewy near them. 

“What’s going on?” Boa's follows. Basti’s head swims, dragged to the depths of his fear.

“I can-” He sways. Niklas catches him, anchors him in familiarity. The broken bits of his chest get swallowed, collapse like a star, noiselessly. Everything flashes brightly before going dark.

He wakes up somewhere unfamiliar. The open window brings in the smell of trees and earth. He suddenly remembers everything that happened and bolts upright. The low whine of the foot of the bed makes his eyes go wide. He’d only seen Niklas in his transformed state once, but he’d never forget it. 

“It’s not the full moon.” He couldn’t have slept for that long. 

“Why are you a wolf?” Niklas carefully moves across the blanket to pin him down and brush at his cheeks, eyes frightened and sad. Basti still didn’t know where they were and he wasn’t going to get any answers from Niklas in this form. 

“I’m sorry I freaked out about Jo.” He felt a twinge at mentioning him.

“I don’t know if I’m cut out to be in your pack, Niklas. I can’t even share you with our teammates.” Niklas makes a low, mournful sound, head dropping into his lap. 

“That’s because you’re not just a pack human, Mr. Rudy.” An older man entered the room. Niklas growled out a short warning but didn’t get to his feet. Sebastian was confused. How did he even get to this place with Niklas as a wolf and why wasn’t he changing back.

“Who are you? Where are we? What do you mean I’m not a pack human?” 

“I’m the Alpha of Munich, and you’re in my private lodge. Your den leader contacted me, well he contacted his own then Jan contacted me. As for what I mean, I can answer that if you tell me how your wolf found you. How you became pack.” 

Basti knew the Alphas commanded the Packs, but he didn’t know much else, and he didn’t know whether to trust him. 

“Why should I?” The man barks out a laugh.

“You chose wisely, young one. He’s certainly formidable. I’m old, I like stories, and I saved your lives, if not your reputations.” Basti eyes him. He can’t be over fifty and he did feel better, whatever it was he had done to help. Niklas pats him with a paw, carefully nodding in wolf form.

“He found me. I didn’t know anything about werewolves, or that he was one. But I was sleeping, and something woke me up. I knew, as soon as I saw him that it was Niklas. The wolf was just standing there, in my backyard, waiting. Niklas told me the next morning he had followed his instincts and that had led him to me. Told me I was his pack. Told me he could track my heartbeat.” The Alpha nodded, stroking his salt and pepper beard.

“Do you know how pack bonds are formed?” Basti shook his head.

“Humans have intuition for things, bad feelings, even spirits. Werewolves use that ability as an extra sense. It’s purely mental, taste, touch, hearing, smell, sight all have physical components but this one doesn’t and humans never developed that fully, but it’s still there. So when werewolves seek out pack, there is where the bond lives, but yours is not an ordinary pack bond.” 

“Because it’s just me? Well, it _was_ just me.” Basti interrupts. The Alpha looks amused, but doesn’t get offended.

“No, though your wolf is lucky to have found you first. Some wolves take years to form a pack. It’s not unusual to have a single pack member for some time. No, it’s a matter of your particular bond. It’s stronger than pack and you were both woefully unprepared for it. As a matter of fact, you tried to sever it, the distress of your rejection caused him to change and the psychic backlash caused you to collapse.” 

“Rejection? I didn’t reject anything. I tried to,” Basti struggles with finding the words.”I shifted it. I tried to make space for his new pack member.” while having a panic attack of psychic proportions apparently.

“There is no space you can make between equals. Pack bonds wouldn’t interfere with the bond you have with your wolf. To borrow from fairytales, you were made for one another. Pack can die, can be driven away, but what you have will always stay.”

-

They make it back to their house on fumes of hopes and dreams. It’s silent as they get ready for bed. Basti’s head is still fuzzy and staying awake is only making it worse but Niklas had made the gruesome transformation back into a man three hours ago without saying a word to him.

Tucked into bed, he didn’t expect the arms that wrapped around him, but was grateful for the comfort. 

“I was so scared.” Niklas starts, voice cracking and hoarse. Basti turns to lay chest to chest. His legs already tangling with his wolf’s, trying to reassure them both that they hadn’t lost each other. 

“You were bleeding. I was half-feral by the time Boa got the Alpha. I thought I was going to lose you and it was like,” Basti found his way to Niklas’ face with his hands. Niklas shuddered out a breath.

“Like I couldn’t imagine life without you.” Basti finished for him. Certainty thrumming through him. There was no terrified voice in the back of his head anymore, not for this, not for them. 

“Yes,” it was out like a small, dry sob.

“Do you love me?” He moved his hands up to feel Nikal’s hair barely brush against his fingers. Niklas turns into his palm for a second before he feels him nod.

“Me too.” He kisses him softly, barely there pressure but it feels like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> my sleep-deprived brain couldnt think of a better ending so sorry.
> 
> Extra Notes:
> 
> -the basti and james fight happened in this universe as well. Over some wolfy backstory I couldnt come up with, maybe jealousy, maybe intrigue.
> 
> -mats is/was part of neven's pack but everyone who wasn't on dortmund operates under the assumption that it wasn't that Deep
> 
> -boa has a huge pack that includes Manu and David and I totally forgot to put that in. 
> 
> -xabi was an interim den leader. It was an interesting time.
> 
> -thomas isnt a wolf nor in a pack but he's definitely some sort of [wiggles fingers in the air] supernatural
> 
> -lewy is a bitten wolf. Boa, Thiago, and Corentin are all born wolves. Theres some political disputes in the den bc lewy is an asshole.
> 
> -corentin is Fronch and France is a haven for wolves. Also Laca and him are still best buds. Lyon packmates forever.


End file.
